Over the past hour, I've considered going on the TGWTG Kink Meme and making a request for something that makes the Critic look so awful and irredeemable that it erases all desire I have to watch any of his future videos--or any of Doug's, by extension.  I want someone to make Critic/Doug Walker look like an asshole/sociopath/jackass/whatever so that I have no interest in watching any of their future videos,  end up hating him, and burn what DVDs I've bought from him.

Because I keep hearing about how Doug must obviously hate his fans and I get some of it I do and some of it makes me uncomfortable too but the character is what brought me to the fandom and I feel like I can write him best even though I make him better than he is and it hurts to see people just throw me into the "section of fandom that likes seeing him shoot things and whine" because I think he's matured in some ways from his old videos.

I just want to agree with everyone at the same time because that might mean, hey, maybe I'll write more stories that people will read.  Except I know how that ended last time.  It's my issue and it's easier for me to blame myself for not being enough of something that I still like him.

If you say he's a dirty rotten no-good bastard?  Fine.  You win--I agree with you and I'm done liking him.  Even if he's the primary reason I visit the site and I'm not that much into the other reviewers, and the only reviewer I'm good at writing, whether he's the focus or an important secondary character..

My head hurts from trying to make this all balance out.  I have one more dinner with my family and then I'm home-free, at least until the weekend.  I have to go to bed.  Work tomorrow.  



October 2013

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