you know that awkward feeling

where you hate a character

but love how you used to write them

and the end result is that you loathe a character but want to write him still

and all of the other characters are really fucking boring to you and you don't want to write them



Okay, so anyway. Looks like I'm going to be a NaNo Rebel this year because I've already tried to bang out eight chapters of Alegria. I'm giving myself two months to prepare, though, and to set good habits. I'll be attempting a fill a day on the kink meme, even if it's just a drabble. I'm also working on an outline.

...There's no need to be ashamed of what I write or how I write it. Even if nobody reads it. Even if nobody likes it. I write what I write and I'm fine with that.
Date/Time: 2013-09-15 20:42 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] guardians_song
guardians_song: Part of Fire Emblem 7's Chapter 19xx CG, colored (comfort)
Good luck on the NaNo Rebellion! :P (Seriously, it's a crazy schedule, anyway. Working on an outline and getting a head start is just sanity if you're not a text-production machine.)

Regarding the part under the cut - *points downward; you can skip it if you want*



I think I handled that situation with pissy disclaimers in the author's notes when I was... less socialized. Admittedly a byproduct of my somewhat antisocial personality, but... worked at the time. (In case you need to ask - young!Albus Dumbledore. Because the ~canon~ interview characterization is that Albus would merrily go along with GENOCIDE for a good fuck. No, no, no, sorry! If that's what canon is seriously supposed to be, it's going straight out the window!)

You have a more... dutiful, moral, not-sure-how-to-put-it... personality, however, so... I suppose to override, I have to ask - What of the people who enjoy seeing OOC!France/how-you-used-to-write-him!Francis/the-Hetalia-canon-is-wildly-OOC-fanfic-in-the-first-place!France? If the people who insist upon canon count, don't they count, too? I kinda remember there being a fair number of them.

Yes, I know, they're Just Wrong. Because Hetalia canon is sacrosanct, and holy, and not at all a blatantly OOC fanfic of history in the first place. :P

And who's judging that it's wrong, again? People write OOC fanfic all the time, and don't even realize they're doing it. Hell, the CANON-WANKERS don't realize they're doing it. There's post-DH-canon fanfic where Hermione isn't a violent domestic abuser. There's post-DH-canon fanfic where Harry's reaction to a wounded, crying child isn't to back away from it in revulsion. There's post-HBP/DH-canon fanfic where Harry doesn't jump at the excuse to whip out the nastiest Dark spell he can cast "in self-defense" rather than using a simple Stunner.

I hate to tell you, but all of that is in explicit contradiction to the canon! I'm not exaggerating for the sake of bringing it up to canon!France level. That behavior is in the text - and has at least two examples per behavior, in case the readers mistook it for a one-off divergence. Yet I can guarantee that if you brought that up to a collection of sporkers, most would be convinced your characterization had no connection to canon and was merely for the sake of ragingly-OOC bashfic.

You want proof? I called a Das Sporker out earlier this year for saying that Harry would never use the Cruciatus. She admitted that she didn't remember DH very well, and had her own mental version of how things went. Sporker? You know? One of those people who go around ragging on other people about how much better they know the canon?

...I know I've said this before, and that either my phrasing or my reasoning may not be sufficient. But I don't see what's wrong with writing a character OOC, or with a preferred characterization, so long as you know you're doing it.

...And yes *through gritted teeth*, that includes Ron-bashing or Aberforth-bashing. It is my bloody right to think the authors are idiots, and their bloody right to not give a fuck what I think. Write Ariana as a half-mindless ingenue with NO berserker-rage whatsoever, write Gellert as a one-dimensional psychopath *after all, it's the fucking CANON!*, write Albus as Book-2!Ginny with a goatee glued on *again, the fucking CANON!*, write Sirius as someone who totally would not get his shits and giggles trying to FEED A RIVAL TO A TRANSFORMED WEREWOLF, write anyone however the fuck you like - I may complain, but no one in the world can or should stop them from writing it!

...*constipated expression* I think that was both a growing experience and grounds for my washing my mouth out with something clean. *guzzles water bottle*
Date/Time: 2013-09-16 16:15 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] guardians_song
guardians_song: Ninian from Fire Emblem, knocked down and getting up (not doing so well)
...Ah. All right. Sorry.

(...I must be mildly PMSing. Something's off with my tone, and I can't tell what. Sorry if I veer over the line into being abrasive/annoying, because it's not intended.)

...After some thought about exactly what I meant (...I suppose I confuse even myself...), I think I need to clarify. Let's take a Harry Potter example, because my situation with canon!Grindeldore seems to be the closest to yours with France. I'll call young!Albus Dumbledore "Albus" as shorthand.

If I bend my mind around a hypothetical scenario in which I accepted canon!Albus as the One True Albus? Your stance makes complete sense. I wouldn't be able to write Albus any more. Anything involving him as a good person WOULD "bore me to tears and disgust me". I mean, not even a drabble. Because fucking hell, he thinks GENOCIDE is a good idea if it gets him a good fuck, what the fuck was Rowling smoking to think anyone could tolerate this character without vomiting.

...Actually had to write a detox drabble after that with normal!Albus. Holy shit, no wonder your brain's locked on disgust with canon!France.
(Edit: ...Two detox drabbles, actually. The second was Albus and Gellert dispatching their subhuman, non-sentient "doppelgangers". *twiddles thumbs and whistles innocently*)

When I said I had a more antisocial/you had a more dutiful personality, I meant that you actually accepted canon!France as the One True France. And to you, that's natural, because that's who he is in canon. To me, the equivalent is unnatural, because canon!Albus is such a one-dimensional, appalling mess of a character - whyever would I switch over to him? If canon demands I switch over to him, out the window canon goes! And good fucking riddance!
*proffers tinhat* Seriously, we're always recruiting! <{:B *dodges bricks*

It's not that you're wrong. It's that my preferred view of the character is flatly the way that he should be, to me - and I accept that different fanon characterizations are valid as well, but that those are not how I think the character should be. ...Yes, yes, this is High Fanbrattery, and yes, Albus is In Leather Pants. (Except not literally... dear gad, have you ever envisioned bright purple leather pants with golden shooting-star designs on them? I need brain bleach for an entirely different reason than for what I needed it a few paragraphs ago. For fuck's sake, Albus, that is not stylish IN THE SLIGHTEST.)

...Maybe this is why I've not made sense? I wasted your time going on and on as though our divergence in character-views was further down the tree of branching viewpoints, and it should actually be at the start of the Canon-Fanon divide. ...My sincere apologies. My only excuse is that I don't analyze my stance on issues of controversial canon deeply, because I don't like to give such canon much thought. *sheepish*

...It's honestly that I think the canon is defective. I consider canon!Albus an enormous waste compared to how he could have been and should have been, given other interpretations of the less malformed parts of canon. Canon!Gellert, one-dimensional, genocidal, narcissistic user that he is, too. Just - what character complexity thrown down the drain. Why should I adhere to such wasteful canon? Because it's canon? Well - I suppose that's the technically Right and Proper reason. But honestly, canon is so bad on this front that even the trashiest fanfic version is going to be only as simplistic, stupid, and sickening a characterization. What's in it for me to respect it?

...This probably reveals a great deal of the less savory aspects in my personality, if you take a minute or two to analyze it. ...Let's move on before you can do so! :D

"The second thing is that when I had my meltdown, I alienated all the people who liked what I wrote. They tried to support me and I shat all over them. They wouldn't read my work now."
They wouldn't know it's your work now. Anon Kink Meme, remember? Even in the hypothetical worst-case scenario, where you had a 100% recognition rate after the processing of one or two of your works, they would still have to read those works first. :P

"And that's how it should be--in the tumblr post you reblogged, just because I have a mental illness, it shouldn't excuse my speshul snoflakeness and the negative repercussions that come with it."
*winces and prostrates self* That... was not my intent at all. And I am very sorry that came across that way, because I can see why and I really should have thought more before reblogging.

Context was... there's an issue with people excusing popular male celebrities for just about anything for the flimsiest of reasons. 'Oh, but mental illness' is one of them. Which I WOULD think of as relevant IF the actions were the sort that stemmed directly from mental illness alone, but I didn't see the mental illness as RELEVANT to the actions for which those male celebrities in the post were being called out. Therefore I signal-boosted because I don't like people throwing about excuses that have nothing to do with the situation.
Spoony going on a self-destructive rampage on Twitter? Yes, I can see that being caused by his bipolar disorder. That would be one thing. The creepy joke about chaining JesuOtaku to a pipe in his basement and "lov[ing] [her] [his] way" that kicked off the whole thing?, noooo, THAT has nothing to do with bipolar...
And likewise, I honestly don't know what illness Stephen Fry has, but I cannot fathom how it would lead to him pitying straight men ~because women don't really like sex and are just doing it for the money~. The fuck?!
As for the other guy, the professor... I seem to remember that was a breakdown AFTER he got called out on extensive fraud. The breakdown? Sure, bipolar. It genuinely didn't read like a man in full control of his facilities. But the EXTENSIVE FRAUD? ...Nope, that's NOT something that can be attributed to bipolar disorder. Just being a rampant douchebag.
(I'll be fairer and go out on a limb to add that a manic state could lead to radically altered judgment. However, my stance is that power (or the perception of power) only reveals, not corrupts. So my perception is that sober!Spoony would still have creep tendencies, just not open ones, and that sober!professor-whoever would still be an unethical, conning sleaze, but one who didn't gamble enough to be caught out in the open.)

...Now, let's bend my mind around a hypothetical scenario in which you unrepentantly and consistently excused all of your negative actions with mental illness (presumably this is Mirror-Universe!Brill), in the same manner that fans use it as an excuse for these men. In that scenario, I would grow enraged and call you out on it. (Believe me. I do this in real life. The words "like a fucking FIVE-YEAR-OLD" would be included.)

However, THIS-UNIVERSE!Brill goes to completely the opposite extreme, taking the stance that her mental illness isn't at all a factor that should be considered in her behavior. Which, if you only take the two ends of the spectrum, is preferable to the I'm-never-to-blame-for-anything end, but... there is a middle ground, you know? Particularly since this-universe!Brill tends to scrounge up Freudian Excuses for even the most despicable (in her eyes) characters out of having a hard time making sense of purely-evil, no-complexity characters.
...*don't ask why I'm offering you a hug, just embrace it or turn down it*

...*sigh* Rhetorical question: why is one of your big concerns that YOU'LL slip up and hurt ME?

"...At any rate, I have written about 3k words of a rather violent gangbang and the entire situation is going to go down the shitter. I've written more today than I have in months. I miss what I used to write, but...this type of stuff is what's getting me to put words on paper. That must count for something."
Yeah, I saw that. ...Good luck.

".....That's...also why I asked for prompts. I...I was hoping someone would ignore me and give me a prompt asking for something like the France I USED to write. Because I won't pick out a prompt like that on my own, but I've told myself if someone wants to see me write it, then I will."
You could do something with the Harlequin-Romance!Hetalia prompt, I guess.
...I knew about the France prompts, but my impression was that you wind up writing darkfic based upon the vague outline of the fluffy!France prompts instead, which I figured would only make you more depressed on that front. That's why I didn't throw a truckload of romance!France prompts at you. (I may also have commented with miscellaneous prompts after you started posting Bitter Medicine [I haven't checked the timestamps to see] - in which case, I am so sorry. My screw-up.)

...Whatever happens, best of luck. ...Sorry that I'm not more of a help. *hugs*



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