Grandpa declined again.

Manager persuaded me to leave work early.  Went there and proceeded to sob by my sleeping grandfather's bedside for a half-hour like a wee baby.  Because of course I would.

Mom told me I shouldn't come if all I'm going to do is cry.  ...I wish I were strong.  Like her, or Dad, or Grandpa, so that I didn't fucking cry whenever someone I love is going to die.  He's peaceful and not in pain and that's what's important.

I have stuff tomorrow.  Haven't figured out whether to do them or spend that time with Grandpa, who may or may not be sleeping then.  

I....

I don't know.  Part of me really needs to do something fun.  The other will regret not being able to see him one more time, to say what I need to without sobbing.

...I see Scott tonight.  And who knows, maybe Mom and Dad will tell me not to show my damn face there again because I'd embarrass them.  who the fuck knows. 


Profile

chatham_t_rivers

October 2013

S M T W T F S
  12 34 5
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags