......

[chatham_t_rivers]

 ...I thought I found some fandom where I can start over.

And then this happens.  (More context, for those not in the know but tl;dr--Demo Reel's being ended, Nostalgia Critic's coming back, and there's drama all over the fucking place.)

I.

Just.

I am torn between worrying about Doug, being scared of the drama, and just feeling so fucking disappointed I could cry.

I am not mad at Doug Walker, or what he did.

I'm just--incredibly sad that something I was looking forward to so much had to...just go and remind me of a horrible experience I'm trying to forget.

So fucking triggered right now.

But you know what?  I write fanfic.  It is my God-given right and duty to slashify, AU-ize, kinkify, stretchify, squeezify, Sueify, and essentially bastardize the canon on which my work is based.  ...And to do it in a well-written way that can be flimsily justified.  A little retcon is nothing.

Yeah I don't even know.  Rules 6 & 7, Brill.  6 & 7.  

I'll be back with a more reasoned, calm analysis (NOT opinion, NOT judgment) when my own ruffled feathers have settled.  In the meantime--thatguywiththeglasses.com is blocked, tgwtg_fic is blocked, and once I do some minor editing and posting on a fic on tgwtg_meme to cheer up someone who filled for me, THAT'S getting blocked, too.  At least until I can calm down.

I am not doing this shit again.  I am going to TAKE CARE of myself.  ...And hope and pray that Doug is doing okay, because the poor guy just can't catch a break from his "fans" no matter what he does and this just brings back so many bad memories oh Jesus I just wish I could talk to him and make sure he's doing okay--

Fuck this.  I'm binging on Supergreatfriend's LPs once I'm done here.  DISREGARD THAT I FELLATE OVERUSED MEMES I'm fuckin' watchin Rainbow Dash Presents Captain Hook the Biker Gorilla.  After that I will probably read Spiderses again.  Lord knows THAT brings the funny.

Comments

[guardians_song]

Oooouch. :|

...Eh. I agree. Stay away from the fandom for a bit, and try to remember it the way it was.

...Hm. I think 'tis time to boldly flee out of that fandom for a while.

Anything I can do for you? Hugs, cookies, puppy pictures?

EDIT AFTER THINKING:

...If this is triggering for you, I'd advise jumping ship on this fandom and running like hell. Because this drama is going to get brought up for the next ~month, given fandom attention spans, and going to be mentioned intermittently for some time after that. Cut your losses and flee.

There are other fandoms. There are fandoms of works that have ended, so there cannot be any creator-wank, and there are fandoms of works that are still going but are not storyline-wank prone.

Can't win them all, you know?

Your disappointment is completely understandable. So... *hangs sign on wall reading "Free Hugs Dispensed Here"*

...I wish I could say more. Stay strong, okay? I'm here. If you need to say anything highly wanky, my inbox will gladly be the audience. It's all right to not immediately act with fannish gaman and all. :) ...): *pats on back*

...Whatever happens, good luck with wherever you go and whatever you do after this. *hugs*

[chatham_t_rivers]

Recommendations on something you think I might like, maybe? My ineffectual strategy to dealing with shit like this is to bury it under five more stories/media/books/tv shows/movies. It's kind of like the kid who has a fight with a best friend and then is like "WELL FINE I'M JUST GOING TO FIND A BETTERER BESTEST FRIEND EVER NYARNYARNYAAAAR. ....I miss you. :("

alternatively it's how an abuse victim reacts to her abusive boyfriend apologizing and swearing to change when she threatens to leave him but that's fucking creepy and I kind of lived that, so

[guardians_song]

GPXPLUS is fun. (Ahaha, Autocorrect knows that word. Wow.)
So's VDex, but eh... once you get enough Pokemon, the money level for more upgrades is just too bloody high compared to the effective income cap. GPXPLUS is better. :P

GBA FE fandom is pretty much dead, 'cept maybe on Tumblr, but it's still a fun canon.

The Sonic 2006 LP is always good for a rewatch, and it does last for a while...

I somehow predict the fandom for The Hobbit is humming along well. I'm not in it, but I'm sure it's... animated. :P

More ideas later (going to dinner soon)... but any of those appeal?

[chatham_t_rivers]

I tried watching the Sonic 2006 LP--got kind of bored around "The Other Other Other Other Something Incident" :P

Taking a look at GPXPLUS and I'll think about it, and I've tried LotR fandom before--too many rules for me. :P (I am flirting with the idea of trying out Inohyn in that sort of environment, though, maybe to deconstruct some of Tolkien's treatment of the "innately evil" races.)

[guardians_song]

I think I skipped through that one. :B But WHICH one? Before or after Silver's story? 'Cos, no matter how bored you get, you do want to at least scroll through the "Touchdown" vids. ...And the one before that, so you have some context, I guess. C'mon! Don't you want to see the LPers COMPLETELY lose their minds? :D

Hoo boy. ...Tell you what- look up Orcs on the LOTR wiki sometime and read Tolkien's description of them. It's so... unpleasant... it deconstructs itself for a modern reader. "squat, broad, flat-nosed, sallow-skinned, with wide mouths and slant eyes"... *winces*

As for the actual FANDOM, you can probably camouflage yourself amongst the movie-fan crowd and thereby avoid the purists. :P The movie had a ****ing high-speed giant rabbit chase scene. I don't think you have to fuss too much about the rules when Peter Jackson himself is smoking the REEEEEALLY STRONG pipe-weed. :P

Also, Shining Force is available on the iPhone App Store for 99 cents. If you want something to play that's very fun and not as hard as FE (no permadeath, has " Egress " spell to let you go back to town and start the battle afresh again), try it out. I have no idea how SHINING FORCE is going for THAT cheap, but I am not about to question it. :D

*pause*

HOLY SHIT, PHANTASY STAR II IS ON THE IPHONE FOR 3 DOLLARS

...Hahaha, two GBA-level games for four dollars total? Yes. You do want. Or you should. :P

Replying to your edits...

[chatham_t_rivers]

I think I'm going to be okay. I'm just going to wait this out, and if I find myself overwhelmed I'm going to run. I spoke with one of the mods and she's really nice, so I think it'll be okay.

(Look at it this way, I didn't CAUSE the drama, and I caught myself before I said something stupid. I'm doing things I enjoy now and it's wonderful.

/takes free hugs anyway because Guardian's Song is best pony)

Re: Replying to your edits...

[guardians_song]

Ah. Okay. Sorry, I over-panic sometimes. :D;;

(Glad to hear that! :D

*turns red* And you are very kind. Really. :);; *dispenses free hugs*)