Thank you, P!nk, for helping me find the words

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

So.

I've decided that...I've decided I'm not going to actively care about Hetalia...but I'm not going to not care. ...I think a lot of this started when I stopped cutting myself. ...Hearing people talk trash and berate me gives me a rush. I...I like it when they do that. There are horrible, horrible, awful consequences, yes...but it's all for that one single rush. That's another one of my theories. That I want people to be disgusted with me...that I want them to talk shit about me. Even if it doesn't make sense...I don't know. I just don't know.

( JFC, how did this get so long? )